Thursday, August 2, 2012

What Would You Go Back And Tell Yourself To Do Differently?

My mind automatically goes to Kenny Chesney's "A lot of Things Different." If you haven't heard the song, I'll recap. He reflects on his life and goes back to things he would change. Become closer to God, go skinny dipping with some chick, dedicated more time and loved an ex better. Shit he would change because he didn't focus enough time during the time.

I'll admit this response is influenced from a big glass of red wine. The cheap kind. The kind that isn't necessarily the kind a Princess would drink. But hey, today when picking up some groceries, it was on sale for $10.00 at Harris Teeter. So there's that.

Because I love this topic and, hell, this is my blog, I'm not going to answer all 4 at once. I'll spread them out because dammit, in my time, I've learned a shit ton of shit.

1. Back in high school, I had this amazing relationship with my grandma. The woman gave awesome advice. Whether it was to dump a jerk I was dating or whether or not the corduroy jeans made my butt look good or not. She was there at my prom and there at my graduation. She cheered me on when I got my first 4.0 semester in college and picked me up when I fought with my boyfriend. "Priorities" shifted and paryting with my friends, seeing my boyfriend, and going shopping were what stupidly revolved my world. Grandma always called, asked about life, school, friends but her main question always ended with "When are you coming to see me?"

"Soon Grandma, soon!! Can we braid my hair like we used to? Can you make your cake crumbs and we talk about my wedding day? I can't wait for you to see me get married one day."

Don't get me wrong, I visited home but did so when I felt like it and obtained this mentality Grandma would just always be there.

Fast forward to freshman year, second semester. I was sitting in English. My phone was going crazy from my mom and I ignored it thinking it was just another phone call. Finally after the 7th call, it was 30 minutes into class, I walked outside to gather the news my grandma had had a brain aneurysm. I rushed, crying my eyes out, to Durham from Greensboro, North Carolina where she lay in her hospital bed and had went to meet Jesus. I rushed over to her hospital bed, heartbroken I couldn't tell the one woman who influenced me since Day 1 how much I loved her and what an impact she would always make. I went to the window sill, and looked up at the sky. Closed my eyes. Halted the tears. God calmed me and I knew she knew. I walked out of the room and found out... I was 30 minutes too late.

Visit your family. Tell them you love them. And always, always answer your mother's phone calls.