Sunday, September 30, 2012

Why You're Single

You're single because you're single. It's not because you texted too much or too little or waited 33 minutes to respond because he took 23. It's not because you met up with your ex that night at 5am that no one knows about or because you kissed another boy after a date with a loser. You're not single because you spit food on that date or tripped coming out the the movie theatre. You're not single because you hurt your first boyfriend really badly when you were 15 or because you have yet, to this day, to apologize. It's not because you were secretly jealous when your friend got a boyfriend or that a guy you dated for two months now has a really cute girlfriend and looks really happy. And you're happy for him. But still ill that he found someone before you. You're not single because you slept with your ex boyfriend. You're not single because half the world found out when you didn't even want to remember it yourself. You're not single because you think the guy your friend wants to hook you up with is ugly or not tall enough. It's not because your not willing to put up with someone who doesn't brush their teeth on a regular basis. You're not single because your standards are too high. Good for you for having standards. It's not because you didn't like that really, really good guy that wanted to take you on a date and you just weren't feeling it. And it's not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You're not single because you didn't learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You're not single because something is wrong with you.

You are single because you are single. It's really as simple as that. You haven't made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it's going to remain that way until it's time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don't have. There will come a time you'll meet a boy and you'll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now.


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

If Your Love Ends, Was It Love In The First Place?

I've pondered this question before. A couple more times that I'm even willing to admit. Love is everlasting right? Like, it's the one emotion you can count on never going away. Love is patient, love is kind, it is not proud, it is not rude....

You love your family. You love your friends. You love your boyfriend. You love your dog. You loooooooove that movie. Omg I love those pair of shoes. I love you.

What does that mean exactly? To love something, to love someone? You meet someone for the first time and click with them ending the night "I just love her!" But do you really? Do you really, really love her? No. We throw around the word love way too easily. Your boyfriend of two months confesses he "loves" you. You feel bad so you mumble "I love you too." I love you. I love you. Let it sink in. Let the meaning of the word consume your mind. I love you.

How many guys have you said "I love you" to in your life? Me? 3. I've said it to three people. And considering I'm no longer in a relationship with them anymore, did I ever love them at all? I swear, when you sit and think about this, it's pretty intriguing. Especially intriguing after this big glass of wine, I'm currently drinking on a Wednesday in a cafe (hehe Taylor fans) at 7:40pm.

Do you believe that when you're with someone and you love them, I mean wholeheartedly, and your love ends and you go your separate ways, that the love was not real from the beginning? If you go with the concept of "if love doesn't last forever, it never existed in the first place" then you have your black & white answer. If your love ended, nope, not true love. If your love lasts for 65 years of marriage, you damn right that's true love.

Or are you like me? After pondering the pros and cons of both sides, I think I realized where I stand on this issue. If you love someone when you're together and your love doesn't last, the love for that person doesn't just end. It doesn't come to screeching, standstill halt (even though you may want it to). Love is a connection, a bridge from your heart to another heart. You can love someone and not be in love with them. Maybe the difference in those two is a good topic for a future blog post. I think that once you love someone, once you really, really, love someone, I don't believe it ever goes away. Needing them, wanting them, or even liking them may go away, but loving them doesn't. Loving someone doesn't always necessarily mean you want them back either. Maybe you weren't all that great together, maybe you just loved each other. And that is okay. You are okay.

It may take some time to realize this - give your heart the time it needs. I think it's normal to have a piece or even pieces of your heart scattered around this world, linked to others. It shows you're human, it is proof that you've loved and been loved, given all and received all. So what is your thoughts on this? Just because pieces of your heart aren't fully with you, they represents the good times, memories, and lessons you learned that, without you even knowing, are shaping you for the wonderful man God has prepared for you. Be patient. Never stop loving.

Never, ever stop loving.


Friday, September 21, 2012

Hey. Remember me? I was your friend when you were single.

I think it’s a mistake you have to make before you learn from it.

And that completely sucks.

It’s easy to get caught up in the “omgwearesoperfectforeachother & thereisnowaywewilleverbreakup” stage in your relationship. You start to think that you can’t do shit on your own. You used to run all day errands by yourself and now you can’t even run to the mall without dragging your ball and chain of a boyfriend. Your boyfriend doesn’t care if you get the purple necklace or the green sweater. Hell, you can’t even go to Target to get eggs without him glued to your side.

I’ve made this mistake. I made a guy my life, my whole life completely and it was pathetic. I was pathetic. I would blow off family and friends because if my boyfriend wasn’t involved I didn’t wanna go. Don’t do that. I drove away friends who were there for me when he wasn’t because I was caught in the mentality that we were never ever EVER… going to break up – Taylor Swift remix if you will. The story ran its course as it should have for me to move onto the next stage of my life, but there I was when the relationship ended with some girlfriends but no real close ones. No real close girlfriends that I desperately needed when my life fell into pieces. I had devoted so much of my time, and so much of myself, to someone that was in my life one day and out the next.

Thankfully those people I had blown off knew the mistake I had made and willingly welcomed me back into their life, helping me reconstruct myself and my life into what it is now, into what I had always wanted it to be but never had the independence or strength to do so. You have to make the mistake to learn from it. You have to blow off people and have your life crumble beneath you to realize that you will never ever make that mistake again. And you have to hope you have the friends that I did that forgave. I value my girl time, my me time, more now than I ever have before because damnit, I can take care of myself. I can go to Target and shopping and pay my bills and pay for my own drinks and dinner and outfits BY MY FREAKIN SELF and I even have friends that want to come along with me. Friends who I don’t blow off.


And there is no real easy way to tell someone they’re stuck up their boyfriends ass. And if you do, they probably won’t believe you and will end up defending HIM. Later going to him saying “Omg I can’t believe with Stacy said about us. She has no clue that you’re my best friend and we will always be together smookey pie. I can’t believe she would say that ..” Nope. You should’ve listen to Stacy. One day you’re going to wish you listened to Stacy. I wish I had listened to Stacy. Give your friends the time they deserve. And give your boyfriend the friend time he deserves. There is nothing more powerful than a couple that can become stronger because of their time apart.

The moral is to not forget about the people in your life when you have a significant other. You may not think it now, but what if that relationship ends? What if the one person you could always run to becomes the one you run from? What happens when you’re left sitting in your room on a Friday night alone with no one to hang out with? What happens if you blew them off one time too many where they finally left you to wallow in your own pity? Make the mistake to learn from it. Or if you’re really smart, you’ll just learn from it right now.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Ballsy vs Crazy. Which are you?

Ballsy – Texting a cute guy asking what he’s been up to lately
Crazy – Texting a cute guy asking why he’s not texting you back

Ballsy – Wearing colored pants with a color top
Crazy – Wearing no pants

Ballsy – Tweeting your crush
Crazy – Tweeting your crush and refreshing your Twitter mentions every 2.4 seconds until he mentions you back – if he does.

Ballsy – Buying him a drink
Crazy – Buying him a drink and thinking of the fact that he could be your husband someday

Ballsy – Getting over your ex
Crazy – Getting under your ex

Ballsy – Winking at a guy across the bar
Crazy – Licking your lips at a guy across the bar

Ballsy – Finding a mutual guy friend on Facebook you think is cute
Crazy – Finding a guy on Facebook and taking a screenshot of his picture and sending to all of your friends

Ballsy – Giving a guy your number before he asks
Crazy – Give a guy your number that tells you he’s not interested

Ballsy – Cooking a nice dinner for him
Crazy – Watching him eat dinner through the bushes outside of his apartment

Ballsy – Asking him to go get a drink
Crazy – Expecting him to pay for all your drinks

Ballsy – Planning your next weekend getaway
Crazy – Planning your wedding

Ballsy – Purposefully acting cool when you run into his ex at a bar
Crazy – Purposefully elbowing the bitch in the face and slamming her to the ground by her hair after hitting her with a bar stool

Friday, September 14, 2012

What Not To Do After A Breakup

All girls are so good at telling their best friends what to do post breakup, myself included. I can tell you he sucks, you deserve better. Remember all those times he was mean and controlling? WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU GO BACK? However, when it comes to yourself, the rules don’t apply. It’s your heart that taking the fall, it’s your heart that knows better than what you friends have to say, right? Your ex is better than your friends ex, right? Wrong. But here are some things to ponder (aka don’t do. At all.)

1.       Keeping the same close knit mutual friends. Going out on Friday night is fun! Whoo! Boom there he is. Shit. Tonight sucks. WHY is he still around?! Ugh, is he following me? Can’t I go anywhere without seeing him?!!? No, dumbass you can’t because you’re going out with people who still like him too. Although, some friends tend to “pick sides” when a couple splits, but there are those friends who genuinely like both of you. Save them the hassle on feeling like a bad guy. I’m not say peace out on every friend associated, but branching out, meeting new people even in different cities is an awesome idea. And when you’re chatting up the hottie in the corner of the bar, your ex won’t be across the rooms giving you looks that could kill. Or vice versa.
2.      Stalking. Don’t do that shit, you freak. Your next boyfriend isn’t in the bushes of your ex’s apartment complex.
3.      Go ape psycho bitch on him. Sure, you’re mad. He let you down! It didn’t work out. Believe me, if I had went ape psycho bitch on any of my ex’s every time I had the opportunity, I would have no friends. Or dignity. People will respect you if you bite your tongue, smile, wave, and walk on being the awesome girl you are. Also, 99% of people have phones who have video cameras. Don’t do that to yourself.  
4.      Text him. This is an easy one. Why are you communicating? To remind you of what you had when you were two different people? No thanks, you should be good.
5.      Post sad, depressing, wahhh wahhhhhhhhh tweets. “My heart is broken, do you see what you did to me?” You look pathetic. And people will probably unfollow your ass.
6.      Revenge sex. And this means alllllll forms of revenge sex. Don’t sleep with his best friend, that gets nobody anywhere except for being caught in a big circle of rumors. SHE DID WHAT?! Don’t sleep with his brother. Really? What are you thinking? Don’t sleep with him in hopes that your hot bod will resurface old feelings and you’ll instantly be in love again, holding hands. None of that works. You’re just left with guilt and you’ll feel completely stupid. And if you don’t feel stupid, you’re stupid. Lose, Lose.
7.      Talk about the breakup to everyone, every day. It’s healthy to vent. I vented 8,542 times. But your aunt’s sister’s kid’s dog doesn’t really give a crap. He just wants to chew on his bone. Say what you need to say, but don’t dwell. If all you’re focusing on is why you ended, you’re not focusing on why you should get over it.
8.      Wait for him. No matter the circumstance, no matter the outcome, no matter how awesome of a person he may portray to be… never wait on him. Ever. This is the #1 rule. Never wait on a man who took a good, long, hard look at you and said “no thanks. I’ll try my luck elsewhere.”

I broke, not all, but most of these (I’ve never been much of a stalker and other related things above), but looking back, the ones I did break, I know a time machine would come in really handy so I could choose not to do those. But I don’t hate every guy I’ve been involved with (except for that one forever ago, you kinda always did and always will suck, blow me). And the reason it doesn’t turn into World War 3 every time I see them is because I made some smart decisions long ago and not acted how I wanted to in the moment. People remember what you do when you do it and someday you’ll be just a memory for some people. Do your best to be a good one.


Thursday, September 13, 2012

What To Send To The Douchebag In Your Life.

“Don’t text me.” Send.


I liked you. A lot even. When we met it was a “firework, roses, rainbows, and ponies galloping into a beautiful green meadow as the sun was setting” shit. I thought to myself, finally. This is why I have put up with all the assholes of the past because you have to go through bad stuff to get to the good, right? It’s what I told myself anyway.

And you. You were great. You had me going. Round of applause? I liked you so much that I liked you even when you didn’t deem me worthy of a text back. But at 2am, boy you were on it with your “Hey baby, how’s your day? Come over?” And of course, right on cue, I went over. And over and over and over and over.

But, you know what I’m done. I don’t know, today, I’m just done. It’s like I woke up today and didn’t wanna do this anymore. I’m done being your little punching bag when it’s convenient for you. And you’re going to wake up and realize you had a girl who would’ve made you a sandwich not because you “commanded” but because she actually wanted to. She wanted to help take care of you, because it’s so clear you can’t take care of yourself. You little 5 year old. Yeah I’m pissed. Go find another girl who’s going to put up with your shit.

Oh, whoa now I’m important? Now when you realize you’re going to have to boil your own spaghetti late night dinner and cook your own eggs at 9am, now I’m important? Go screw yourself. Screw your stupid eggs. I hope you’re allergic to eggs! I hope you find a switchblade knife in your freakin’ eggs. You suck and I’m awesome. Yeah you’re hot, but being hot isn’t an excuse to act like a dumbass. I’m a damn good catch and I’m done wasting my time on you. It is over. Don’t text me. I’m over it. I’m over you.


follow me on twitter: @agcrute

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Why You Should Not Get Back Together With Your Ex Boyfriend.

Yeah I know. Every girl wants that story. You date for a couple years, break up for a couple weeks (or months, or YEARS) and find out that you really can't live without him. You send the risky text "Hey. I've been thinking about you (I miss you). How have you been?" and he responds with the "You've been on my mind too. I still love you. Please lets work us out."


Shit, that is a word that unifys me and him. Together. "Us." A two letter word that you can't really define. And it hits you. All the memories and laughs and good, fun shit that you did together. Allllllll of that comes flooding back. The time he created scavenger hunts for you, bought you tickets to the concert you were dying to see, Victoria Secret gift cards (which really was a gift for him), the way he knew you don't like crust on your sandwhiches and have a crazy, obsession for Starbucks coffee. He knows everything about you and you about him so uh, duh! This is the best idea ever. But you see, all that is no good. Do you not remember the breakup? Why you left him? The rumors spread, the games played, the tears you cried? No, you're not remembering that. Wanna know why? Keep reading.

1. You're focusing on the positive.
- Yes, its easy to replay over and over the good part of your relationship. When your heart is trying to heal, it focuses on overglorifying the person you're trying to forget. Honestly, your heart is bullshitting you. Its holding on to what's comfortable which brings me to number 2.

2. Uhhhh, it's just comfortable.
- You don't have the shave your legs everyday, try super hard to impress him with quirky jokes. He's comfortable. He's seen you dressed up, dressed down, dressed ugly. It feels natural, exciting even to rekindle with someone you once loved. It's the dramatic, can't live without you love you come to find you still need. Nope. Wrong again.

3. You're two different people now.
- Time changes people. Maybe he has turned into someone you wouldn't like or you are now someone he doesn't like. Being apart shifts your personalities as people you've met since the breakup have altered your behavior. Maybe you are so different, you just don't click anymore. Take a hint, sweetheart.

4. The 2nd "honeymoon" stage will go away.
- The new and exciting stage will fade. Yeah this shit isn't real! He will go back to his nagging, annoying self reminding you of why you left him in the first place. He may have changed, but his roots are still there. All the reasons you left will come flooding back faster than the happy emotions the day you decided to give it another go.

Trust is the underlying factor of any relationship. Being apart for weeks, months, or even years can break that trust, or whatever is left there of. You don't know who he's been with, or what he's done since you and it's none of your damn business. It's called a breakup because it is broken. Don't hurt yourself even more trying to piece it back together.


Friday, September 7, 2012

The Problem with Crushes.

I think we’re entering a weird stage in our lives. If you’re in a relationship (granting you’re happy, he treats you great, he’s not a complete dick and you don’t want to slam his head with a frying pan three times a day) then you’re probably in a healthy relationship. If you’re under the age of 18, then this doesn’t apply. You’re going to breakup, date about 7 other guys seriously before you find the one.

However, I am 23. And I’m seeing a trend.

If you’re not in a relationship and if you’re anything like me, you have tons of crushes. And by tons I mean at least like a different one every weekend. You go out, see that hot guy from across the bar & whisper to your friend “Omg. I love him.” Now of course, you don’t really love the kid, let’s get real. And if you do, you’re a freakin’ weirdo. What’s wrong with you? You’ve never met the guy and as a far as you know, he could be a serial killer disguised in a buzzed cut hair, dark eyes, killer body of a man. But for those like 5 seconds of hot eye contact, you “love” him.

You and bar boy start chatting and boom! There’s fireworks, laughing, more drinks and the next thing you know you’re double fisting Bud Lights as you “oooh” and “aaahh” over bar boy and his deep voice and tantalizing eyes. DAMN THEY ARE SO GREEN. I swear I have never seen a more beautiful pair of green eyes. And sweet Lord, his body. Don’t get me started. You find out his name and start playing in your head your first with his last, thinking if one day you can tell your kids how you and their father’s eyes met across the room at a bar and you instantly knew there was something. Fast forward to the end of the night, and unless you’re a total whore (which I don’t recommend), you coyly give bar boy your number with a second date in mind, as you whisk away out of the bar and you can’t stop thinking that he can’t stop thinking about you.

The next morning.

Shit what happened? Bar boy has texted you with a sweet “Good Morning Beautiful!!!!” text at 9:42am. And because it is now 11:30am and you haven’t replied he has sent 2 more texts asking if you’re mad at him? And followed by the ever so dumb “or not” text message people use if someone isn’t replying. Uh, no I’m not mad dude? I was sleeping? Strike number 1 = clingy.

Strike number 2 = clingy.

Being clingy is enough strikes to fill an entire book and it is the number 1 turnoff with me. I don’t even need a strike number three because it’s kinda pointless to the moral of this post.

The moral is to take guys “with a grain of salt” (which I always understand the meaning of this phrase but never why in the hell people say with a grain of salt. Or is it sand? Whatever, you get it). Don’t expect meeting a guy in a bar to be something great, be surprised if or when it turns into that. I’ve met a guy in a bar that I turned into a boyfriend and I’ve met a guy in bar who now disgusts me. Guys are dumb (sorry if you’re a guy and reading this but after all you’re reading a PRINCESS blog site so ……………) and they don’t think about things like we do. What I’ve learned is that you need to have morals and value yourself because the right guy will love that about you. Guys don’t have to try as hard these days because what you won’t do, some other chick will and if that’s all they’re about, good luck fixing that honey.

In my 23 years, I’ve loved and lost but learned that no relationship is a waste of time because if it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you DON’T want. Never compare your journey with someone else’s. Someone else may start out faster than you, may seem to progress more quickly than you but your journey is your journey. It’s not a competition. Live. Love. Be. Do.