Friday, September 21, 2012

Hey. Remember me? I was your friend when you were single.

I think it’s a mistake you have to make before you learn from it.

And that completely sucks.

It’s easy to get caught up in the “omgwearesoperfectforeachother & thereisnowaywewilleverbreakup” stage in your relationship. You start to think that you can’t do shit on your own. You used to run all day errands by yourself and now you can’t even run to the mall without dragging your ball and chain of a boyfriend. Your boyfriend doesn’t care if you get the purple necklace or the green sweater. Hell, you can’t even go to Target to get eggs without him glued to your side.

I’ve made this mistake. I made a guy my life, my whole life completely and it was pathetic. I was pathetic. I would blow off family and friends because if my boyfriend wasn’t involved I didn’t wanna go. Don’t do that. I drove away friends who were there for me when he wasn’t because I was caught in the mentality that we were never ever EVER… going to break up – Taylor Swift remix if you will. The story ran its course as it should have for me to move onto the next stage of my life, but there I was when the relationship ended with some girlfriends but no real close ones. No real close girlfriends that I desperately needed when my life fell into pieces. I had devoted so much of my time, and so much of myself, to someone that was in my life one day and out the next.

Thankfully those people I had blown off knew the mistake I had made and willingly welcomed me back into their life, helping me reconstruct myself and my life into what it is now, into what I had always wanted it to be but never had the independence or strength to do so. You have to make the mistake to learn from it. You have to blow off people and have your life crumble beneath you to realize that you will never ever make that mistake again. And you have to hope you have the friends that I did that forgave. I value my girl time, my me time, more now than I ever have before because damnit, I can take care of myself. I can go to Target and shopping and pay my bills and pay for my own drinks and dinner and outfits BY MY FREAKIN SELF and I even have friends that want to come along with me. Friends who I don’t blow off.


And there is no real easy way to tell someone they’re stuck up their boyfriends ass. And if you do, they probably won’t believe you and will end up defending HIM. Later going to him saying “Omg I can’t believe with Stacy said about us. She has no clue that you’re my best friend and we will always be together smookey pie. I can’t believe she would say that ..” Nope. You should’ve listen to Stacy. One day you’re going to wish you listened to Stacy. I wish I had listened to Stacy. Give your friends the time they deserve. And give your boyfriend the friend time he deserves. There is nothing more powerful than a couple that can become stronger because of their time apart.

The moral is to not forget about the people in your life when you have a significant other. You may not think it now, but what if that relationship ends? What if the one person you could always run to becomes the one you run from? What happens when you’re left sitting in your room on a Friday night alone with no one to hang out with? What happens if you blew them off one time too many where they finally left you to wallow in your own pity? Make the mistake to learn from it. Or if you’re really smart, you’ll just learn from it right now.