Wednesday, September 26, 2012

If Your Love Ends, Was It Love In The First Place?

I've pondered this question before. A couple more times that I'm even willing to admit. Love is everlasting right? Like, it's the one emotion you can count on never going away. Love is patient, love is kind, it is not proud, it is not rude....

You love your family. You love your friends. You love your boyfriend. You love your dog. You loooooooove that movie. Omg I love those pair of shoes. I love you.

What does that mean exactly? To love something, to love someone? You meet someone for the first time and click with them ending the night "I just love her!" But do you really? Do you really, really love her? No. We throw around the word love way too easily. Your boyfriend of two months confesses he "loves" you. You feel bad so you mumble "I love you too." I love you. I love you. Let it sink in. Let the meaning of the word consume your mind. I love you.

How many guys have you said "I love you" to in your life? Me? 3. I've said it to three people. And considering I'm no longer in a relationship with them anymore, did I ever love them at all? I swear, when you sit and think about this, it's pretty intriguing. Especially intriguing after this big glass of wine, I'm currently drinking on a Wednesday in a cafe (hehe Taylor fans) at 7:40pm.

Do you believe that when you're with someone and you love them, I mean wholeheartedly, and your love ends and you go your separate ways, that the love was not real from the beginning? If you go with the concept of "if love doesn't last forever, it never existed in the first place" then you have your black & white answer. If your love ended, nope, not true love. If your love lasts for 65 years of marriage, you damn right that's true love.

Or are you like me? After pondering the pros and cons of both sides, I think I realized where I stand on this issue. If you love someone when you're together and your love doesn't last, the love for that person doesn't just end. It doesn't come to screeching, standstill halt (even though you may want it to). Love is a connection, a bridge from your heart to another heart. You can love someone and not be in love with them. Maybe the difference in those two is a good topic for a future blog post. I think that once you love someone, once you really, really, love someone, I don't believe it ever goes away. Needing them, wanting them, or even liking them may go away, but loving them doesn't. Loving someone doesn't always necessarily mean you want them back either. Maybe you weren't all that great together, maybe you just loved each other. And that is okay. You are okay.

It may take some time to realize this - give your heart the time it needs. I think it's normal to have a piece or even pieces of your heart scattered around this world, linked to others. It shows you're human, it is proof that you've loved and been loved, given all and received all. So what is your thoughts on this? Just because pieces of your heart aren't fully with you, they represents the good times, memories, and lessons you learned that, without you even knowing, are shaping you for the wonderful man God has prepared for you. Be patient. Never stop loving.

Never, ever stop loving.