Friday, September 7, 2012

The Problem with Crushes.

I think we’re entering a weird stage in our lives. If you’re in a relationship (granting you’re happy, he treats you great, he’s not a complete dick and you don’t want to slam his head with a frying pan three times a day) then you’re probably in a healthy relationship. If you’re under the age of 18, then this doesn’t apply. You’re going to breakup, date about 7 other guys seriously before you find the one.

However, I am 23. And I’m seeing a trend.

If you’re not in a relationship and if you’re anything like me, you have tons of crushes. And by tons I mean at least like a different one every weekend. You go out, see that hot guy from across the bar & whisper to your friend “Omg. I love him.” Now of course, you don’t really love the kid, let’s get real. And if you do, you’re a freakin’ weirdo. What’s wrong with you? You’ve never met the guy and as a far as you know, he could be a serial killer disguised in a buzzed cut hair, dark eyes, killer body of a man. But for those like 5 seconds of hot eye contact, you “love” him.

You and bar boy start chatting and boom! There’s fireworks, laughing, more drinks and the next thing you know you’re double fisting Bud Lights as you “oooh” and “aaahh” over bar boy and his deep voice and tantalizing eyes. DAMN THEY ARE SO GREEN. I swear I have never seen a more beautiful pair of green eyes. And sweet Lord, his body. Don’t get me started. You find out his name and start playing in your head your first with his last, thinking if one day you can tell your kids how you and their father’s eyes met across the room at a bar and you instantly knew there was something. Fast forward to the end of the night, and unless you’re a total whore (which I don’t recommend), you coyly give bar boy your number with a second date in mind, as you whisk away out of the bar and you can’t stop thinking that he can’t stop thinking about you.

The next morning.

Shit what happened? Bar boy has texted you with a sweet “Good Morning Beautiful!!!!” text at 9:42am. And because it is now 11:30am and you haven’t replied he has sent 2 more texts asking if you’re mad at him? And followed by the ever so dumb “or not” text message people use if someone isn’t replying. Uh, no I’m not mad dude? I was sleeping? Strike number 1 = clingy.

Strike number 2 = clingy.

Being clingy is enough strikes to fill an entire book and it is the number 1 turnoff with me. I don’t even need a strike number three because it’s kinda pointless to the moral of this post.

The moral is to take guys “with a grain of salt” (which I always understand the meaning of this phrase but never why in the hell people say with a grain of salt. Or is it sand? Whatever, you get it). Don’t expect meeting a guy in a bar to be something great, be surprised if or when it turns into that. I’ve met a guy in a bar that I turned into a boyfriend and I’ve met a guy in bar who now disgusts me. Guys are dumb (sorry if you’re a guy and reading this but after all you’re reading a PRINCESS blog site so ……………) and they don’t think about things like we do. What I’ve learned is that you need to have morals and value yourself because the right guy will love that about you. Guys don’t have to try as hard these days because what you won’t do, some other chick will and if that’s all they’re about, good luck fixing that honey.

In my 23 years, I’ve loved and lost but learned that no relationship is a waste of time because if it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you DON’T want. Never compare your journey with someone else’s. Someone else may start out faster than you, may seem to progress more quickly than you but your journey is your journey. It’s not a competition. Live. Love. Be. Do.