Thursday, October 25, 2012

I Remember It All Too Well

It was December 25, 2009. It had snowed the night before making it a white Christmas. I remember I didn’t know what he planned for my Christmas present, but he’d been excited to give this to me since what felt like forever. I got out of his car, the frigid air showing every breath I took, smiling & excited. The night passes with an extravagant dinner with all his mom’s cooking. I always liked her cooking. “Amanda, do you want a glass of wine?” Of course I do. I always asked the question if she minded already knowing she’d picked out my favorite bottle earlier in the day. She reached and grabbed one of those old antique Christmas wine glasses – the ones that are rimmed with brass highlighting the holly that danced around the glass for decoration. How fitting. Everything for every holiday was always so put together.

I am that girl who is always shivering. It could be 75 degrees in the house and I would need a blanket. I sat there on the couch, an excited 21 year old, & opened up coloring books and crayons, cute tops and a purple rain jacket, but I knew that wasn’t it. After cleaning up red and green wrapping paper off the carpet and getting another glass of wine, I went back to my blanket. A slight buzz had kicked in and I wasn’t hating celebrating the holiday at all. It was a lovely evening. He handed me a box and said Merry Christmas. This was it.

I tore through the package and came to a hand written note from him saying there was a scavenger hunt hidden throughout the house and each clue revealed another random letter or odd number. From the couch, to behind the Santa painting the kitchen doorway, to upstairs in his room under his bed, I had revealed more numbers. Although I don’t recall the first three, the final two I’ll never forget. 9 & 10. I won’t reveal the significance of this because I like the secret.

The final clue lead me to the computer room as I had instructions to play the clip already pulled up on the music player. My favorite song started playing. “We were both young when I first saw you. I close my eyes and the flashback starts, I’m standing there…” I looked around the room at him and his family with smiles, awaiting my response. The next clue had me open the drawer. I grabbed the knob with sweaty hands and there sat an envelope with I love you written on the front. The music was building to my favorite part when Taylor starts to sing “Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone…” and I ripped open the back and there sat two tickets to her May, 2010 show, Fearless.

I screamed “Oh my God, we’re going to see Taylor!” and burst into tears of joy and surprise and jumped in his arms. I had been talking about this show for months, but he had told me he couldn’t spend the $350.00 on two silly tickets for some artist. The embrace lasted for, what felt like, years. Time stood still and the seconds melted around us. There was not one person in the room that wasn’t crying.

As the story would have it, half a year later, he and I decided to part ways. Seeing the transformation in myself since then, I know this was best thing that could have happened and I have absolutely no regrets for myself or for him. My life is drastically different in ways that if someone would have told me about it years ago, I would’ve responded with puzzled eyes. I’m a believer in those that come together and fall apart to learn lessons for future years. I was skeptical about blogging about this for it running the chance of wrong intentions. But, I think we all have the one memory that sticks out above the rest. We all reminisce to times that warm our heart and I think it's normal. And my good Lord, I don't think it signifys that you miss the past. That's the thing about the past - it's shaped you into who you are. If anything, it's something to be proud of.

My heart reminds me every day of how beautiful life is and how one thing truly does lead you to another and to bliss and happiness. Even though, I know with every part of me, I ended up where I needed to be and so did he, this is my one memory. It is one of my favorite memories of all time. Whenever it crosses my mind, I smile.

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.


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