Wednesday, October 10, 2012

John 13:7

Alarm blares at 8:42am. No. I can’t get out of this bed – I feel sick to my stomach. I can’t go to class today. The sun is streaming through the blinds lighting up the mascara and tear stained pillowcase. There’s a pile of clean laundry that has been sitting in that corner for about 4 days now because I haven’t had the urge or energy to clean it up. Last night, I laid on the bathroom floor & got sick because I heard he took some chick to the movies. It’s only been 2 months since we’ve split. How could he be ready? How in the world have I vanished from his mind this fast?

Has that ever happened to you? Your life crumbles beneath you and everything you once planned just goes away. One day you can’t even picture living your life without someone and the next day you find you’re doing just that. You may not know this now but you can turn this around. When it happened to me, I turned to my faith. One of the first verses I found jumped out at me and to this day, still rings true in my head. I hope it pops out at you:

“And Jesus replied, you do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7

How powerful. When I saw this one, something inside me snapped. I realized I had power over this situation. You have the power to delete his number, delete his facebook, unfollow his twitter, delete all the pictures. You have the ability. Why aren’t you using it? You and you alone are the only one who is allowing this to still have a hold over your heart, over your mind. He’s still in your mind because you allow him to be. You still replay that favorite memory at Christmas time because you allow it to replay. You cry at that song because you allow it to come on your iPod.  You text him because you think you don’t have the ability to say no. WAKE UP – you’re wrong. You call him back at 2am, you text the “I miss you” texts in moments of desperation, it’s your fault. You have the power to do it right now. What’s stopping you from deleting his number, those thoughts and moving on with your life right now?  

God changes your life & you don’t always understand what that reason is when it happens. You question Him like why are you doing this to me? I AM HURTING. … Maybe you’ll know a week later, maybe 2 years later. But just like that Bible verse above states, you’ll see. Maybe he’s not the man you will marry, or maybe you have a few things to learn before you settle down. Maybe your career is in another state, or maybe your destiny is tied to another city. All of these things can’t happen if you hold onto him.

God removes people from your life for a reason. Think long and hard before running after them.