Monday, November 5, 2012

Being In Love vs Loving

Being in love with someone:

I love you with every piece of my heart. The morning sun breaks through my window and I’m awakened by thoughts of you. I click my iPhone and there’s a text from you saying “good morning baby.” We usually sleep side by side, but you had to be up early today so you stayed at your place but you never let a second go by without me knowing I’m on your mind. We’re like disgustingly happy but not that annoying couple that can’t do anything without the other. Disgustingly happy as in people envy what we have in each other. You surprise me, sneak up behind me to hug me, and I really can’t imagine my life without you. You are the peanut to my butter, the see to my saw, the star to my burst. You complete me. I can tell you anything – things I can’t even tell my other friends. I call you when I’m mad at my mom or my friend pissed me off. My heart is connected to yours wrapped around, intertwined a thousand times in a row. I would do anything for you. I take care of you when you’re sick, hold you when you cry, make silly faces to see that smile of yours. There is no length too far or no road too long. My favorite thing about you though is not your smile or your eyes or the things you do for me. My favorite, absolute favorite thing about you is that I get to trust you. I mean wholeheartedly trust you. You hold my heart in the palm of your hand and could drop it at any given second, but you never do. You never will. You are the dream and in you, I have found the missing piece of myself. I know with everything that I am that you are the one I have waited for after all of this time. And the beautiful part about being in love, is that you love me just as much right back. You’re beautiful. We’re beautiful. I love you.

Loving Someone:

We had some amazing memories. There were times I didn’t know love could be that strong. I think back on us and I think back on all that you did for me – not just in things you bought me, but the love you taught me and most importantly the love I grew for myself after loving you. But that’s just it. I just think. I have no urge to contact you or tell you what really cool thing happened to me today. However, I am always going wish you the best, even after the heartache we went through. Even after the deceit, the lies, and the hurt – even after every terrible memory there is of you and I, I will always wish you the best. For every terrible memory, there is one that’s amazing. It took me a long time to separate the two. You’ll always seem to me the person you were then and not the person you are now. And I will always seem to you the person I was then and not the person I am now. I think we’re supposed to remember each other that way. Although I know I’m not in love with you and never will be again, I still care. I know that if I ever did need you, you’d be there and so would I. Our bridge has fallen apart, but the pieces lie in the bottom of the sea on top of each other. You’re going to make someone very happy one day and so am I. And I don’t think life would’ve turned out this amazing nor would I be this happy had what happened never happened. So to all those whose hearts I’ve broken and to those who have broken mine, I’m grateful for the heartache because it saved me in more ways than a person can be saved.

The biggest difference in being in love with someone and loving someone lies somewhere in between the longing for, the want, the need. Being in love means having that person constantly in your mind and your heart and just loving someone is from afar with a  few passing thoughts every now and then. But being happy, self-content, and loving your own life – now that is what you should strive for. Never, ever give up on that. Love yourself first. Be in love with yourself first.


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