Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I'm a runner.

Everybody has a way they deal. Some people go for a drive, some go for a workout, some go indulge in an amazing 5 course meal set to candlelight with swanky jazz soothing in the background.

Me? I 'm a runner. 

But a long time ago, I was a runner for the wrong reasons.

I ran from confrontation.

I ran from people I was very close to.

I ran from my issues.

I ran from every person that wanted to break down these walls I have built.

I ran from vulnerability.

I ran because I was scared.

I ran because I had no clue what I wanted out of this life.

But the time came, when I noticed all of this running was in circles; it was the same repeating path. Day to day, the same situations circled around me just as I was circling around them. And I wanted out. So this time, I chose to uproot my life and run - in the opposite way - in a damn straight line.

There are friendships built in your lifetime that you think you’ll meet them once, they offer you a margarita and they end up being your lifelong friend. There are friendships built over years and years that slowly drift apart. That’s the magic of life – completely unpredictable with no guarantees. I’ve had friendships and relationships fall apart and fall back together again. I’ve had best friends turn sour and ran from that as well. I say that point to make this point:

You can run in circles as much as you want to, for as long as you wish. You can alter your personality to fit in with people you don’t even like. You can fake a smile every day of your life and you’ll be making everyone else happy but yourself. But one thing rings true: you will always go back to you. The sand will run out. You’ll always figure out the friends that matter – the friends that love you when you don’t love yourself. The friends that will be right there waiting with open arms because they understood the madness behind your running.

There are bonds created and hearts linked that time can’t tear. Time only changes you so much and you can only run from it for so long. Maybe that bond will be your best friend from 2nd grade where you friendship started because you both had Barbie lunchboxes. Or maybe that will be the girl from your freshman year in college orientation class. Or hell, it could be your pet rock. But these bonds, these people who accept you for your strengths and weaknesses -- never let them go. Never let your sight of something temporary succeed over these people. You will always go back to you. And when you find that out, you’ll be wiser, stronger and surrounded by the friends that will look at you and say “I know you run, but this time I’m here to stop you.”

Although, I don't know where I'm running nor who will stop me, hallelujah, praise the good Lord above that this time I know I’m running in the right direction.


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