Tuesday, January 29, 2013

to my best friend.

i met my best friend over margarita’s. shocker, right? but literally, i had just made new friends and walked into the party and the first thing this girl i didn’t even know said to me was “i’m not going to finish all this margarita. do you want some?” hell yes, i want some. boom; we were meant to be.

my best friend has been there with me through some of the coolest, most important moments in my life and i’ve been a part of some of the coolest, most important parts of her life. but i think it’s important when those flashbulb memories are replayed in your head, you know the one person who was always present or who the first person was that you called or waited to tell them in person just see their eyes light up.

we threw each other’s 21st birthdays, with help of a few other people fully equipped with streamers, cake, birthday songs, poster board of 21 things to do, punch, beer, a shot on the 21st of every hour and over 1500+ photos taken of each night, which we recently just went through together again. there are pictures from those night that i hope no one ever sees. But that's what we're good at - taking pictures and capturing the moment.

{her; me}

chasing boys, playing beer pong in sweatpants and laughing at old college parties and the dumb shit we had done together is what we mainly did when i visited her, since we no longer live in the same town where we met in college. one night in particular, she dropped an entire case of michelob ultra on the concrete floor. now i’m usually kinda pissed at people who my play with my beer’s life, or lack thereof in this case. but we laughed – died laughing actually as i snapped a pic of the remaining glass and posted it on instagram.

there’s one drive back that sticks out though. i’d say it was about a year ago after leaving her house from having a super fun-filled weekend together, driving back to a city i hated living in. the radio in my car quit working for some odd reason and there was nothing left in the car but me and my thoughts. she had always told me i could get out of that town – that i was strong enough. that's something she always kept saying: i was strong enough. the entire ride back i replayed our tipsy conversation from the night before where we’d stayed up until about 3am and as i pulled into my apartment complex, i called her and told her i was doing it. i was getting out, but i was scared. and she replied with “well if anyone can do it, you can.”

i’ll never forget that night in boone, nc when i was sad about what i thought was a mini-crisis. i was drunk and sobbing, tears falling like the rain outside and she grabbed my hands and told me to close my eyes. she prayed for me. right then and there in the middle of the parking lot in the back of that truck. she prayed the sweetest strength prayer for about 10 minutes. she was right there, her head bowed, eyes closed, both of us crying when it all changed for me. that moment is one of my favorites.

another one of my favorite days happened recently. this new years we decided to video tape the entire day and promise each other no one will ever see the videos. to give you the slightest preview it involved wine at the nail salon, juggling apples, 52 card pick-up, mcrerererere, failing a work test, a few choice words, pajama pants, a flushing toilet, ugly faces, backflips in the bed, screaming when the clock turned midnight and booty-popping in the kitchen. i know this may mean nothing to you, but when she reads this, she will die laughing. i think that’s basically all we do – is laugh.

we've made raps on the way to burger king at 2am, had our self-esteem go like ...what?!, tripped over trash cans at the beach, took pictures with fire hydrants?, tried to drive a bus at east carolina university, videoed ourselves singing backstreet boys, danced on tables, made bad decisions with white russians, broke boys hearts, been "wounded in battle," and shared one too many beers.

but i can’t forget the moment when her own life changed, when i was one of the first to know sitting there on her leather couch in her home. she is a strong girl, way stronger than i had been before, and she didn’t really break down much. so when she cried, i knew it was serious. i could cry if a stump my pinky toe, so of course seeing her pain made my own heart feel the same. she made a life changing decision, walking away from the comfort of something that she knew wasn’t right. i remember thinking that this was my turn now; it’s my turn to give the comfort, wipe the tears, remind my best friend of her own strength when she felt like she didn’t have any at all. it was my turn to be the best friend because she was the one who taught me how.

what it means to be a best friend is more than the definition of the word. being a best friend means loving the other one when they’re impossible to love, when they might not love themselves. it means loving someone when you’re angry at them because no one’s perfect and they will get on your nerves sometimes. it means knowing all of their highs, their lows, their deepest secrets, their tears, their strengths, their weaknesses, their faults, and their problems and loving them anyway. it means listening to the countless stories of what guy they like now and what their mom did that pissed them off and why their ex-boyfriend sucks. it means going and picking them up from the bar at 2am when they don’t have a way home. it means yelling at them when you know they’re screwing up and it means telling some guy off when he grabbed her ass. it means taking their hand and saying we’re getting through this together and saying call me instead of calling him. it means a look across the room and knowing what the other is thinking. sometimes it’s shredding a piece fabric together with scissors, and cutting some douchebag’s face out of a picture and ripping it into a million pieces. it’s a unique love, and if you treat it carefully, an inseparable bond.

never miss a moment to tell your best friend what they mean to you, for no reason at all. just earlier today, my best friend and i were google chatting, which ultimately inspired this post, and she sent me this: “thank you so much for being such a supportive and amazing friend. last year was a really rough year for me but already God is showing me that through all the darkness there is light and I am SOOOO incredibly happy!” and i replied: “me too!! You’re absolutely right!! Sometimes we have to go through hardships and we don’t always understand why and then one day out of the blue, God lets us know.” 

These two lines mimics our lives now. And we got here to that place, together.  

I love mine.

Go tell yours that you love her, too.


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