for as long as i can remember, i’ve heard this age old piece of advice – don’t date someone you met in a bar. i think my grandma told me this, all “dating” articles say STEER CLEAR of those guys in bars because apparently they all suck, & even couples who did meet in bars shun away from the fact when people ask how they met.
i mean, why?
do only psycho killers go to bars? does the guy wearing a sweater vest down at the end of the bar have some secret plan to kidnap you if he coaxes you to give him your number? do only guys that are jerks go to bars? does a bottle of beer have a dr. jekyll and mr. hyde effect?
i.e. dr. jekell and mr hyde background: an scientist experiments with a potion that reveals the hidden, dark side of himself and releases a murderer from within.
aka: this dude drank some juice of some sort and it made him this horrible, crazy psycho. i don’t know - it was some story told when i was a kid and i think they made a 'hey arnold' episode around the story line once.
anyway.
i was reading thought catalog a little ago– a website i frequent often - which inspired this post. and i saw an article titled ‘scandalously single at 25.’ the author goes on to say how everybody is getting married and she’s single at 25 and blah blah blah and that if she wanted a boyfriend, she could have one if she were desperate, but she’s not because she’d rather not meet a man in a bar or date a man who only wants to get {her} into bed and then ditches {her} as soon as he realizes he’s not going to get {her} there.
first of all, who is she trying to convince it's okay? us or herself?
the article goes on about she has self-worth and how awesome that is.
the article goes on about she has self-worth and how awesome that is.
yeah, that is awesome. i love self-worth and yes, you should have standards. and for the record, yes it's okay to be single.
but i don’t think it’s very fair to just assume that because you meet a dude in a bar, he’s gonna be all corrupted and evil. i mean think about it – you’re a good person right? you enjoy going out for a few glasses of wine every now and then with friends too right? so why can’t guys do that?
because let’s get real. it’s not like some good dude out there is all like ‘yeah man i would like to go out with you tonight because work was hell this week, but you see i’m a good guy who someday would like to meet a good girl and if i go out, all girls will just think i’m a jerk.....so i can’t. sorry man.’
boo. you whore.
plus if you never go out, how on earth are you supposed to meet different people? it’s not like you’re going to strike up some awesome convo with bobby who buys the same brand of sausage as you in the grocery store.
i think we should approach it from a different angle – that not every guy at the bar is looking for a girlfriend. that’s fair. some guys are the ones looking for the girl of the night and if that’s what you choose, then that’s on you. but there are good, decent, DATEABLE guys that go out on saturday nights too.
and i’m not just saying this because i met my boyfriend at a bar. but i’m not afraid to say i did. we both had long days around with our friends and just so happened to know someone mutual at brazwell’s pub in charlotte back in april. we struck up conversation about football and video games. he asked me out on a date the next day, and then another date, and then another. the rest is history. we even met sam mill’s (ex-panther’s player) son and got a picture with him the night he & i met. i treasure this picture.
so maybe miss ‘scandously single at 25’ girl needs to lighten up because she wouldn’t like it if some nice guy looked at her and judged her on how she spends saturday nights. nice guys do the things nice girls do. they go grocery shopping. they go to work. they shower in the morning and they pay bills just like we do. and sometimes nice girls like to go out to a bar and let loose.
and so do nice guys. anything can happen.
xo,
-A
