Wednesday, April 2, 2014

i always remember today.

back when this blog was anonymous, i wrote driving with you. it’s a free write; as most of the posts were back then. little hints throughout the post give the notion it’s about my grandma even though i don’t come out and say it.

i can’t believe it was 6 years ago today. april 2, 2008. 

my grandma was one of my best friends. she helped raise me while my parents worked, and once i started school, she still continued to fix my favorite egg, cheese, & mayo toasted sandwich every morning. i was a weird kid to have liked that combination. she helped me through breakups, friendships, told me when i was settling for less, and was forever filming my childhood. we still have tapes to this day of her filming me alongside other grandchildren playing in the yard, me singing into a microphone, and braiding my hair wet so it would dry curly. she is, to this day, one of the people who shaped my life the most.

as the oldest of her 4 grandchildren, i was the only one she lived to see graduate high school. it was around that time that her health began to deteriorate. two open-heart surgeries later, she became confined to a wheelchair when having to walk most places and during the spring of my sophomore year in college, i received a phone call.

she had a brain aneurism.

i drove back & forth from greensboro to durham regional hospital for a few days as we waited it out. april 2, 2008 was a wednesday and i had an english class i had to attend or my absences would had caused me to repeat the course. 30 minutes into the class, my mom had called my phone countless times and the class didn’t matter to me anymore. i left and went to the hospital.

i’ll never forget that i was 30 minutes too late. she had passed.

everyone was given time alone with her in the hospital room, but when i walked in, i went straight to the window that faced the sky. my grandma’s body was in the room, but it was not her; for she had went to walk with the Lord. i remember sitting on the windowsill talking to her in heaven; saying how much i missed her already and would give anything to have more time with her.

i realized though, she was now with me more than ever before. as my guardian angel.

the only thing i wish was that grandma were to have gotten the chance to meet lee. she would love his funny jokes and the loving way he loves me. but it is nice to know she looks down on both of us, so i guess in a way, she did get to meet him.

i’m sorry for a #sappywednesday post, but whenever this day rolls around every year, my heart is filled with more love because i know she is dancing with God and that i know i’ll get to see her again one day.

i know heaven is beautiful & i know it's because she's up there.

hug your family today.