why running is hard.

i'm not really that great at it. 
that's probably reason number 1 why it's hard. i've never been a size 2 kinda girl, except for when i was in like ninth grade or something crazy. that time, & the time i dropped a lot of weight due to not eating & running 3 miles a day. i was 22 at the time with the metabolism of a 22 year old. i also didn't have college claseses on monday, wednesday, or friday so sleeping in until 10am & then going for a later morning jog was easy. 
no stress for work. no exhaustion from work. no full time job. no house to clean. no dog to chase. just me, headphones, and the latest rap song for me to rock out to. 
fast forward until 27 and that's all changed. 
coming home yesterday, i knew i wanted to go for a run. i got home & thought of at least 10 reasons why i didn't need want to. i had a salad for lunch. i took the steps up to the 4th floor of the parking deck versus the elevator. lee was searching for a movie & it looked good to watch. it was too hot. it was too cold. i need new running shoes. luna needs a bath & i didn't do it like i said i would. i have a bottle of wine. 
i went & put on my running shoes and went anyway. i desperately need new shoes. 

via
i ran 2.5 miles around our neighborhood & it felt amazing. an actual smile was on my face at the start of mile 2. why is it that i always dread it, but after i finish it's so satisfying? sure, my legs are still shaking today & i can barely move my arms to type, but that means it's working. i think i'll do it again tonight. 
one of my far, far fetched goals is/was to run a half marathon. it's something about those people who can run that kind of distance that is so empowering to me. i used to live around 13 miles from work and the fact that i would running that distance blew my mind. here's a secret though - i've never even ran a 5K. 
sure, i've ran 3.1 miles plenty of times before, but i've never signed up for one. that's all changing as i'm pretty certain i'm doing the panthers keep pounding 5k on may 14. what's better than running through the stadium?! hey chesson, you doing this one? 
here's an excerpt from the website: "the course begins on east morehead st. outside of levine cancer Institute. runner will proceed west on morehead to the south Gate of bank of america stadium and will head into the stadium. once inside, runners will ascend to the 500 level (using the ramps), run approximately a lap around the concourse, and then descend into the player's tunnel - where runners will feel like a panther emerging on game day! the finish line will be set up at the 50 yard line. friends and family will have the opportunity to cheer for participants from the stands. 
so there we have it. my first 5K is soon. and i'm scared. running up those ramps is NO joke. any fellow panther fan who has sat up high in the nosebleeds knows this all too well. but i've had practice before being late to my seats & refusing to miss kickoff. running up those ramps with panther adrenaline in your veins will kick your butt in gear. 
as far as that 13.1... maybe one day i'll be that crazy.