Are your "friends" your friends?

WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT types of friends. We have our best friends, one's we loved since elementary school, share every secret, every hookup, every guy problem. We have friends we live with, party with, have dinner with, or those we go out with if no one else is available.... whatever, it's the harsh reality.

I've been blessed with tons of people in my life. More than probably the normal person. I'm an outgoing, friendly girl who can pretty much get along with anyone. I like to do things for my friends and I always will as long as your true to me.

If they talk about others to you, they talk about you to others. I learned this the hard way. Gossip runs through girls blood at a rapid speed. It's normal. I do it. You do it. Your best friend does it. Your mom probably does it. Sometimes it seems like a secret is just something we tell everyone else to tell no one else. It's human nature. However, there is that fine line and the scary thought is how many of your "friends" cross it?

Unfortunately, I'm learning now more than ever that friends don't always last a lifetime. There are those who come into your life for a reason and those who come into your life for a season. AND. THAT. IS. OKAY. It doesn't mean you're a bad person and it doesn't mean they are either. Friends teach you and mold you and when their time in your life is over, you must be willing to let it go. Someone wise once told me that if God changes your heart about something, you must be willing to change your plans. So change your plans.

I justify every decision in my life with this one statement: "Does the good outweigh the bad?" If the answer is yes, keep on getting it. If the answer is no, make a change. It's a simple concept really, but the easiest and fastest one I've found to hold true. There are people I used to be closer with that I miss everyday, maybe twice a day, maybe twice a minute. There are people I used to be closer with that I don't miss at all. There are people who've drifted in and out of my life, started their own path, came back into mine, and got back on their own course. But the fact is every single person that has affected me has made thankful. Even the negative friendships, which at the time I thought were everything, were really just everything at that minute. And guess what? That is okay.

Why is this a topic of what I would change? Hell I don't know. This whole "thinking into what I would change" topic really has thrown me for a loop. Princesses, just as your many daily emails tell me how these posts affect you.... it totally has me too. I wouldn't change any of the friendships I've had because at the time I have made some irreplaceable memories with some remarkable people. I've had laughs for days and I thank these people for that. You should do the same. I guess I would change the outlook. That once the friendship had ran its purpose and it's course, I would've realized it as such and moved on.

Once you drift from some people in this world, true colors will show. Flaws. Insecurities. And I'm sure so did my own in their eyes. You hear things, truth comes out and it may hurt. But even though I'm not as close with some people in high school or even college, if they needed me, I'd still be there. If any of you in my own life are reading this, I'd still be there.

Be there for people. Love people. Love will always win. Love is the only way.

xo,
A.

Is your relationship the right one?

THOSE THAT KNOW ME in real life that may or may not read these blogs may think it's kinda bitchy for me to use my past experiences for the public eye. However, with the enormous amount of "thank you omg I've been needing to hear that" & "you say to me what I can't say to myself" & "because of you, I don't feel alone" emails I've been receiving, I'm kinda justifying it. And ya know, I kinda am still anonymous & don't use names or even direct relations, so suck it.

I'm human too. I make mistakes and will own up to anything I've done. I'm never afraid to say I'm sorry. I think you should live your life that if someone were to call you out to the world, you wouldn't be embarassed about what they had to say. So just call me Taylor Swift of the Blog world.

Okay, okay get to your number 2 point already. My number 2 of "things I would go back in time and redo" is very simple. If a man isn't treating you how he should be, leave him.

Well duh right? What woman in her right mind would stay with a man who is mean to her? You'd be surprised how often it happens. You get stuck in the mentality that the highs of the relationship outweigh the lows. When it's bad, you remember how it is when it's good so you justify the abuse just longing for it to get good again because once it does, it will stay that way. NO. It doesn't. You're wrong. It doesn't matter what kind of abuse you deal with. Whether it be physical, emotional, or mental, there is some other guy out there that won't make you put up with his shit. YOU. ARE. A. PRINCESS. And princesses don't take shit.

Love is blind and this post is kinda all over the place. I did this in high school, like all those years of my life when I put up with shit because of love. Or what I thought love was. Or what I even thought love could be. Do you know what love is at 16? A question I've always entertained and maybe this is a good future post but if you loved someone, and your love ended for whatever reason... was it ever true love at all? Technically I believe I have loved 3 times in my life, but after it all I've learned to never let your happiness depends on something you may lose.

I will say the harsh words and bullshit I put up with really did change me. I have no tolerance and I demand respect because I'll give you the same back. I'm one of those annoying people who try to "look at the bright side of things." I know, what a crock of shit. @LifeofaPrincess, HOW can I see the good in this breakup, leaving someone my heart desires JUST BECAUSE he isn't good to me 24/7? How can I live without him? I'll tell him I'm done, and then two hours later I'm calling to say I'M SORRY??  You quit that. For any girl out there, who has dealt with assholes or who may be currently dealing with one... leave him. Get on your own two feet. He is not treating you as the Princess that you are.

How do I know this you ask? How do I know it's possible and you'll become better because of it? Because I have been there. I have done that. Walked away. Kept my dignity. Treated people how they should be and didn't try to find revenge. I guess it's kinda contradictory because this post is supposed to be about what I would change. I guess I wouldn't change that part of my life because I wouldn't be who I am now. So number 2 can be to change the fact I didn't slap that person across the face and leave sooner to move on to a man who knows my worth. You should do the same.

"Run for your life my love, run and don't give up. All that you are, all that you want. Run for your life right now. And if you dont know how, go back a few, take all that's true, leave all thats burned behind. Just run for your life." - The Fray

xo,
-A

What Would You Go Back And Tell Yourself To Do Differently?

My mind automatically goes to Kenny Chesney's "A lot of Things Different." If you haven't heard the song, I'll recap. He reflects on his life and goes back to things he would change. Become closer to God, go skinny dipping with some chick, dedicated more time and loved an ex better. Shit he would change because he didn't focus enough time during the time.

I'll admit this response is influenced from a big glass of red wine. The cheap kind. The kind that isn't necessarily the kind a Princess would drink. But hey, today when picking up some groceries, it was on sale for $10.00 at Harris Teeter. So there's that.

Because I love this topic and, hell, this is my blog, I'm not going to answer all 4 at once. I'll spread them out because dammit, in my time, I've learned a shit ton of shit.

1. Back in high school, I had this amazing relationship with my grandma. The woman gave awesome advice. Whether it was to dump a jerk I was dating or whether or not the corduroy jeans made my butt look good or not. She was there at my prom and there at my graduation. She cheered me on when I got my first 4.0 semester in college and picked me up when I fought with my boyfriend. "Priorities" shifted and paryting with my friends, seeing my boyfriend, and going shopping were what stupidly revolved my world. Grandma always called, asked about life, school, friends but her main question always ended with "When are you coming to see me?"

"Soon Grandma, soon!! Can we braid my hair like we used to? Can you make your cake crumbs and we talk about my wedding day? I can't wait for you to see me get married one day."

Don't get me wrong, I visited home but did so when I felt like it and obtained this mentality Grandma would just always be there.

Fast forward to freshman year, second semester. I was sitting in English. My phone was going crazy from my mom and I ignored it thinking it was just another phone call. Finally after the 7th call, it was 30 minutes into class, I walked outside to gather the news my grandma had had a brain aneurysm. I rushed, crying my eyes out, to Durham from Greensboro, North Carolina where she lay in her hospital bed and had went to meet Jesus. I rushed over to her hospital bed, heartbroken I couldn't tell the one woman who influenced me since Day 1 how much I loved her and what an impact she would always make. I went to the window sill, and looked up at the sky. Closed my eyes. Halted the tears. God calmed me and I knew she knew. I walked out of the room and found out... I was 30 minutes too late.

Visit your family. Tell them you love them. And always, always answer your mother's phone calls.